A User in Mainframe
by Alex Perez
Summary: What would happen if a human got into Mainframe? I do, with humorous results. Humorous, and violent.


A User in Mainframe  
By Alex Perez  
  
Part IContemplation  
One day, Alex Perez walked over to his computer, and looked at it for a while.  
After ten minutes of thinking, Alex came to a decision.   
  
"I think I'll go inside my computer."  
  
And how will you manage that? Asked his brain.  
  
"I'm a self insert. I can do anything." Alex replied, grinning.  
  
Alex closed his eyes, and said three words.  
  
"Into the computer."  
  
Part IIIntroductions  
  
When Alex opened his eyes, he was standing in the middle of a large city.  
The sky was a dark purple, and a large purple rectangular cube stood out behind many  
buildings. Turning around, Alex realized that he was standing next to a small building  
that had a sign on it.  
  
"Dot's Diner." He muttered, reading the sign. The building looked like an old  
60's diner. Alex shrugged and walked inside. He barely got a chance to look around when   
a strange computer screen-like robot with arms hovered over to him. Not hovering, Alex   
thought to himself, noticing the track that held the robot in the air.   
  
"Can I help you?" The robot asked, in a snooty French accent.  
  
Alex muttered something incoherent and brushed past the robot. He looked around   
the room, noticing the small robots that strangely reminded him of one's and zero's.  
  
What really caught his eye was two humanish people down at the other end of the  
restaurant. As Alex made his way towards them, he noticed that they looked a tad different   
from normal people. They both had green skin, they were male, but one was much younger than   
the other.  
  
Alex walked over to the smaller one and looked at him. The small boy was bugging   
the older man. Alex listened and heard some of what the older man was saying.  
  
"This is the third game today. I can't believe I missed it. Enzo, you shouldn't   
have been screwing around at Old Man Pearson's Data Dump."  
  
The younger kid, Enzo, had a smile on his face. "Don't worry, Matrix. Bob's in the   
game. It'll be fine. Besides, the game is probably the same as the last two. Boy, was that   
User basic."  
  
The one named Matrix frowned at Enzo. "And no more sneaking into games." He said,   
pointing outside to the large purple cube.  
  
Enzo began to speak, when Alex stepped in. "Um... excuse me. But, what's a game?"   
He asked, looking at Matrix. Matrix looked at Alex strangely.  
  
"Were you compiled yesterday?" he asked Alex.  
  
"No." Alex replied, wondering what Matrix meant by compiled. "I'm just new around   
here."  
  
Matrix shrugged. "Whatever." He pointed to the purple cube outside. "That's the game.   
Third one today. Stupid User."   
  
"User?" Alex muttered, confused. The kid laughed.  
  
"Where have you been? Yeah, the User. The one who input's games? Don't tell me   
you've never heard of User's?"  
  
But Alex was no longer listening to Enzo. This is my computer, Alex thought. And I   
did play Quake a couple of times to day. Come to think of it, I did leave Quake on  
before I came here. That means...  
  
"I'm a User?" Alex muttered.   
  
Matrix stood up and turned around. "What did you say?"   
  
Alex said it this time with confidence. "I'm a User." Matrix glared at Alex, a dangerous look   
on his face. But then, Matrix sighed and sat back down.  
  
"It's not funny to joke about that kind of thing," he said in an angry voice.  
  
But Alex was sure of himself now. "But I am! That game is Quake! I was doing really badly   
today! And I'm pretty sure I left it on before I came here. I am a User!"  
  
Matrix stopped eating, and turned his head slightly. Alex noticed that one of Matrix's   
eyes was yellow, and had a red crosshair in the middle.  
  
"You're a User? Matrix asked darkly.  
  
That's it, I'm outta here, thought Alex's brain.  
  
Enzo backed away a few steps. Alex got nervous.  
  
"Um... yeah, I am."  
  
Part IIIDecisions   
Matrix stood up, turned around, and held up a large gun. Three shots rang out.  
  
Part IVRegret  
The diner was emptied, all the inhabitants save Matrix and Enzo had ran outside.  
Another green skinned person, this time a female, ran into the main room from a basement.  
  
"Matrix, Enzo, what happened? Are you two OK?"  
  
Matrix sat down and continued eating. Enzo ran up to the female. "It's OK, Dot.  
We're fine. Matrix just deleted a User."  
  
Dot walked over to Matrix, and looked at the grisly scene. "Enzo, you got it all   
over the wall!" She said, pointing to the red splattered wall. "Not to mention the holes   
in the wall."  
  
"Sorry, sis." Matrix muttered.  
  
Part VAnger  
"You shot a User?" Bob later asked, looking incredulously at the body on the floor.   
Matrix just stood there.  
  
"Think of the things we could have learned!" Bob said to Matrix, angrily.  
  
Part VIRealization  
"Bob, you do realize that this means no more games in Mainframe, don't you?"  
Matrix said.  
  
Bob thought about it for a microsecond, and then smiled. "Now that you mention it,   
you're right!"  
  
Bob levitated the body in the air, and then deleted what was left of it with his Glitch   
powers. Matrix and Bob looked at each other, and then burst out laughing, which was rare for Matrix.  
  
"I think you both are taking the death of what could practically be considered our  
God a little too lightly." Dot said. Bob and Matrix just laughed harder. Dot rolled her eyes,   
and went off to get a mop for Matrix.  
  
The End  



End file.
